Sexual pain is more common than many people realize, yet it remains one of the most under-discussed health concerns. While conditions like endometriosis, infections, or pelvic floor dysfunction are often cited as causes, certain everyday habits can also play a surprising role—either triggering discomfort or making existing pain worse. Below, we look at two common habits that can contribute to sexual pain and what you can do about them.
Habit 1: Skipping Foreplay or Rushing Arousal
One of the most straightforward triggers for sexual pain is inadequate arousal before intercourse. When the body isn't given enough time to respond to sexual stimulation, the natural lubrication process may be incomplete. This can lead to friction, irritation, and pain during penetration—especially for women.
Arousal triggers a series of physiological changes: increased blood flow to the genital area, vaginal expansion, and the release of natural lubricant. Cutting this process short can leave the tissues dry and less elastic. Over time, rushing or skipping foreplay can also create a cycle of anticipation of pain, which makes relaxation even harder.
What helps: Making intentional space for extended foreplay—whether that's kissing, massage, or other forms of touch—can allow the body to fully respond. Water-based or silicone personal lubricants can also provide extra comfort, especially if natural lubrication is insufficient due to medications, hormonal changes, or stress.
Habit 2: Using Harsh or Scented Products on Sensitive Areas
The second habit is less about what happens in the bedroom and more about daily care. Many people use scented soaps, body washes, douches, or feminine hygiene sprays on the vulva and vagina. These products often contain fragrances, dyes, and chemicals that can disrupt the delicate pH balance and microbiome of the area.
When the natural balance is disturbed, irritation, inflammation, or even minor skin tears can occur. This makes intercourse uncomfortable or painful. In some cases, repeated exposure can lead to contact dermatitis or recurrent yeast infections—both of which can cause or worsen sexual pain.
Tip: The vulva generally needs only warm water for cleansing. If you prefer a cleanser, choose a fragrance-free, gentle, pH-balanced product designed for sensitive skin.
Other Contributing Factors to Keep in Mind
While these two habits are common, sexual pain often has multiple layers. Stress and anxiety, for instance, can cause the pelvic floor muscles to tighten involuntarily, leading to discomfort. Certain medications—including some antidepressants, antihistamines, and birth control pills—can reduce natural lubrication. And underlying conditions such as vulvodynia, vaginismus, or pelvic inflammatory disease require professional diagnosis and treatment.
If you've adjusted your habits and are still experiencing pain, it's a good idea to speak with a healthcare provider. A gynecologist, urologist, or pelvic floor physical therapist can help identify the root cause and recommend an appropriate treatment plan.
When to Seek Help
Occasional discomfort may not be a cause for alarm, but pain that is persistent, recurrent, or worsening should be addressed. Signs that warrant a medical visit include pain during every sexual encounter, bleeding after intercourse, a burning or stinging sensation, or pain that lingers after sex.
It's also worth noting that sexual pain can affect relationships. Open communication with your partner about what feels good and what doesn't is important, and professional support—from a sex therapist or a pelvic health specialist—can be extremely helpful.
Small Changes, Real Relief
The good news is that awareness alone can make a difference. Simply recognizing that rushing arousal or using the wrong products may be contributing to pain allows you to make targeted changes. For many people, adjusting these two habits—combined with good communication and a willingness to explore what works for your body—can lead to more comfortable and enjoyable intimacy.
