Many self-care habits are meant to ground us, but some well-intentioned routines can actually backfire. When we're trying to manage anxiety, it's easy to fall into patterns that feel soothing in the moment but end up feeding the cycle of worry throughout the day. Psychologist Nicole LePera, known as The Holistic Psychologist, has highlighted how certain common choices can quietly amplify anxiety triggers rather than calm them.
The key isn't to abandon self-care—it's to refine it. Below are two subtle mistakes that may be making your anxious moments more frequent or more intense, along with practical shifts that can help restore a sense of ease.
Mistake #1: Reaching for caffeine when you feel drained
When energy slumps mid-morning or afternoon, it's instinctive to grab coffee, tea, or an energy drink. Caffeine is a stimulant, and it can temporarily sharpen focus. However, for people prone to anxiety, caffeine acts as an amplifier. It raises heart rate, triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol, and can mimic the physical sensations of a panic attack—racing heart, jitteriness, and shallow breathing.
This doesn't mean you must give up caffeine entirely. But if you notice that your anxious thoughts spike an hour or two after your latte, consider scaling back or switching to lower-caffeine options like green tea or half-caf. Paying attention to how your body responds after that first cup can reveal whether caffeine is quietly fueling your anxiety for the rest of the day.
Mistake #2: Isolating when you feel overwhelmed
There's a difference between taking alone time to recharge and isolating out of fear or avoidance. When anxiety is high, it's tempting to cancel plans, avoid conversations, or retreat into solitary activities like scrolling through social media. While occasional solitude is healthy, chronic withdrawal can make anxiety worse. It removes the natural grounding that comes from connection—eye contact, conversation, shared laughter—and leaves the mind free to ruminate.
LePera emphasizes that emotional maturity involves recognizing when isolation is a protective habit rather than a restorative break. A simple fix: instead of completely retreating, try a low-pressure connection. Send a text, sit in a shared space while reading, or take a short walk with a friend. Small doses of connection can interrupt the anxiety loop without overwhelming your social battery.
How to spot the difference between rest and avoidance
Many self-care routines—watching TV, taking a bath, lying down—can be either restorative or avoidant. The difference lies in your intention and your feeling afterward. If you feel refreshed and more capable of facing the day, that's rest. If you feel numb, guilty, or more disconnected, it may be avoidance. Ask yourself: "Am I taking this time to recharge, or am I hiding from something I'm anxious about?" Being honest about the answer can guide better choices.
A balanced approach to daily calm
The goal isn't to eliminate all anxiety triggers—that's impossible. But small adjustments in daily habits can reduce the frequency and intensity of anxious moments. Replace one cup of coffee with water or herbal tea and notice how your body feels by lunchtime. Instead of retreating to a dark room when overwhelmed, try five minutes of slow breathing while sitting by an open window. These micro-shifts build a foundation of calm that makes the rest of the day feel more manageable.
Self-care is not one-size-fits-all. What works for one person may trigger another. By staying curious about your own reactions—without judgment—you can gradually build a routine that genuinely supports your nervous system rather than accidentally revving it up.
